Sustainable Mothering is a blog, an idea, a goal, a journey. We will discuss and examine how the many acts of mothering must be supported and embraced by culture and society. It is not about mothers condemning each other. It is about freedom and educated choice – true choice which only exists in an environment with options.
When I became a mother nearly fifteen years ago, I knew nothing about mothering. I knew stereotypes about motherhood. Some women stayed home with their children. They were women without imagination, without goals for themselves, without income or independence. Other women had children and returned to their productive lives in the real world. I didn’t actually know mothers of either variety. I didn’t know mothers at all really. None of my friends had children. Most of my clients had children – people in crisis whose lives I did not want. I didn’t even particularly like children. At the age of 31, I suddenly had an overwhelming desire to have a child after a lifetime of certainty that I didn’t want any.
In this blog I will write about my exploration of the difference between motherhood and mothering, what I left behind when I made the mommy morph, the bigotry and ignorance I encountered when I attempted to enter the world as a woman with a child, and I want to hear the thoughts of others on all of this and more. So far the mommy wars has led to more war – it sets women against each other who might be working together to fight the sexism underlying any statement that a decision about my mothering should be made by anyone other than me. Mothers must live in the public world so the acts of mothering must be done in full view of the world when the mother chooses and needs. Forcing women to be isolated in their homes, to give up the work they love, to leave their children behind, to live in fear, to starve, to be dependent on the whims of the more powerful – none of these allow mothers to be healthy or participate in society or raise daughters who want to be mothers or raise sons able to shape fathering. So – onward to blogging.